whattheFAQ.com » broken

Call Guiness Records, World’s Smallest Penis Found

Bullshit Detective — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:07:20 +0000

This man has done every guy in the world a huge favour. He has done something that years of being condescendingly told, “don’t worry stud, I’m sure your average”, or “It’s okay baby, I know you’re a grower not a shower”, or the ever polite “it’s not the size, it’s how you use it”, could never do. No man will ever again feel inadequate in public showers, or in the the urinal beside the guy that has to unroll his penis to pee.

I wonder if this is related to the article we posted a few days ago about breaking your penis, while “daggering”. He certainly doesn’t look Jamaican, but that doesn’t mean his penis isn’t broken.

http://www.dlisted.com/node/31748

Men’s Health: Signs of Broken Penis

Bullshit Detective — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:47:39 +0000

http://jezebel.com/5213000/daggering-trend-is-breaking-jamaican-dicks
Doctors from local hospitals in Kingston, Jamaica, report that they’ve been seeing a record number of broken dicks in the past few months. They attribute this to the increased popularity of “daggering.”
Daggering, or “daggeration”, is slang for very, very rough sex. Doctors from Kingston say that they have been seeing patients with fractured penises as frequently as every other week. They believe that the sharp rise in injuries is a result of new “obsession” with daggering. A surgeon from Kingston Public Hospital explained the most common cause: “during very rigorous intercourse, the penis slips out and in an attempt to ram it back in, the man hits the woman’s pubic bone and pops the penis.” Ouch.
In a story published last September, Dr Alverston Bailey advised men to seek medical help if they suspect their penises have been broken. Signs of a fractured penis include a loud popping noise, followed by excruciating pain, swelling, and sometimes blood.
As much as this sounds like it really sucks for men, Mar from Mongoose Chronicles raises an interesting question: how much does this “rough sex” hurt the women involved? In efforts to explain the phenomenon, Mer turns to popular music:
For years, Caribbean music has reflected men’s apparent belief that sexual prowess and – by their extension, masculinity – was defined by a violent approach to heterosexual sex. This has in some instances been encouraged by women DJs who competed with their male counterparts not on the basis of musical talent, of ‘killing a sound’ as the men have done, but by highlighting their own sexual freedom and bravado: their capacity to – in sexual and other implied terms – take whatever the men could dish out. So that while we’ve had songs like Cabin Stabbin from Super Cat et al, we’ve also had Stab Up Mi Meat from Lady Saw. Now arguably, the thrusting act that might be a part of sexual intercourse could be described as stabbing, if one were given to violent metaphors, which – given the prevalence of actual, criminal, sexual violence perpetrated both within and outside of relationships – I for one am not. But it seems like we’re consumed with encouraging as much violence in sex as possible. ‘Stabbing’ has become too tame; now we have to call it ‘daggering’.
The clip shown above is a music video for “Daggering” by Mr. Vegas, who helped make this particular form of sex (and dancing) famous. The concern over daggering has lead the Jamaican Broadcasting Commission to ban music about daggering or other sexual acts.

Apple isn’t selling what you’re buying!!

Christopher Aceto — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:13:47 +0000

It’s been 3 months since Apple sent me my Unibody Macbook Pro. Being the hardcore user that I am, I opted for the best of the best and upgraded the HD to 320Gb 7200rpm along with the 2.8Ghz processor. I’m going on replacement #5.

Replacement 1: Dented body, faulty batter indicator

I received my first macbook pro (5th gen/unibody) early October. When I opened the box I immediatley noticed that above the trackpad there was a huge dent. This was obviously unacceptable, so I called Apple and requested a replacement. Another issue that was discovered shortly after was that the battery indicator on the left side of the machine was not functioning.

Replacement 2: Defective video card, broken clutch/monitor hinge

I received my second replacement. Actually that is a lie, Apple shipped it to the wrong address and I had to drive 40 minutes away to pick it up at the FedEx depot. When I finally got home and pulled it out of the box I noticed that as I opened the lid/screen it made a horrible cracking noise. I didn’t think much of it, being a new system, perhaps it was just nice a stiff. After working for a few hours, things seemed great. I shutdown and closed the lid. As I lifted the macbook pro to place it in my bag, I noticed that the black clutch at the back had popped right off. I immediatley popped in back into place and opened up the lid. After gliding my finger across the inside of the bezel I noticed that the entire thing was warped!

I used this machine for 4 days. On the 4th day, I was working with some graphic software and as it was rendering, the system decided to shut down the program, clear my desktop of it background and contents and in the top left corner appeared a lovely black box. This was fixed by a restart. I decided to try and recreate the occurance, so I loaded up a graphic intensive game, played for about 20 minutes and bang! The computer just shut itslef off.

I called Apple and requested yet another replacement.

Replacement 3: Yellow screen (9C85), squeaky keys

This one is the best yet. I open the 3rd replacement macbook pro, I place it next to the 2nd replacement, in order to transfer my files via fw800 and I immediately notice that the screen on the new machine is YELLOW compared to the crisp white screen of the previous one. My first reaction was that the screen must be defective. After some research I discover that Apple actually manufactures to different screens for their unibody Macbook Pros.

9C84 – Manufactured by LG/Samsung
9C85 – Manufactured by Chei Mei

Turns out I received the No Frills brand monitor. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but considering that the difference between the two screens is very apparent, I was appalled that Apple would try to put lower quality screens in their Pro line machines.

Another issue with this machine, aside from its sub-par screen, was that my keys were squeaky! I have a video of these squeaky keys in a previous post. Feel free to look it up.

I called Apple and demanded to receive a new machine, however, I wanted them to ship it to the closest Apple Store so that I could open it up with the store manager present, just in case there was a defect.

Replacement 4: 9C85 Chei Mei Screen

The Apple Store Yorkdale called me to pick up my in-store replacement. The system was in great condition, however, the screen was not the brilliant wide screen I purchase, it was infact, the Chei Mei yellow tinted junk screen. I placed the replacement down next to one of the store models and put the brightness on both machines all the way up, as well as changed both color profiles to default. I asked the store reps to bend down to look at the screens side by side and it was a unanimous “Oh!”. They all noticed the yellow screen.

Long story short, they kept the 4th replacement and told me they’d look into this two manufacturer discovery as they had never heard of it.

I am currently awaiting my 5th and final replacement. Apple will not acknowledge the difference between these two screens and would rather insult the intelligence of their most loyal customers by offering us some useless goodwill gestures, like an ipod touch.

You know what Apple? I bought an iPhone 3G, I bought a Macbook Pro fully loaded, I bought a Dual G4 when they first came out in 1994, I bought a Dual G5 shortly thereafter, I own Logic Audio, Final Cut HD and 3 ipod nanos.

After this experience, not only am I jaded, but I question your mandate. I thought Apple cared about making us, the professionals – advocates of all that is Apple – happy. It’s apparent now that Apple is no different than Microsoft, Dell or any other big box manufacturer that simply cares about the bottom line.

Maybe my next system will be a Psystar. Steve… you broke my heart.

- For those of you interested in finding out which screen you have…

System Preferences > Display > Color > Open profile >> take a look at line 13. It’s either 9C85(junk) or 9C84(LG/Samsung!)